toys in the attic

I've been so pedantic lately that I'm way overdue for a little fun, courtesy of the web browser of Rudy. And what's more fun than toys? You may think your kid (or you) has every stuffed bird or beast under the sun, but I bet he doesn't have a stuffed microbe! The descriptions are what kill me:

GIANT Microbes Plush Doll - Maladies Microbe Giardia (Giardia lamblia)

If you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise -- if you drink contaminated water. Learn how to keep today from being the day you get Giardia.

What? You already have the stuffed Propionibacterium acnes, better know as a pimple? ("Give our little fellow a big squeeze, and you're sure to feel better!") If you don't think it can get any more disgusting than that, then you haven't met these siblings.

But ... if you happen to be Jewish and it's Passover, then you're the luckiest kid of all. Think of all the hours of fun you'll have with your Plagues Bag. It includes all 10 plagues! These are especially beloved because you'll now have a better chance of besting Emily McWasp and her decidedly un-kosher fluffy friends.

Sweet dreams.