art lesson

Rudy's not really good at this art stuff, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe we'd all learn a little from his mistakes.

I can really sink my teeth into the first part of today's lesson. It involves finding art where it has never belonged, shouldn't belong and will (hopefully) never belong again, but for the purposes of this lesson, we will indulge the artist/dentist and maybe make some constructive comments in the response section? "Never touch a brush again" immediately springs to mind. (Apologies to the artist, but my opinion is really of no consequence as apparently he has built quite a reputation for himself via word of mouth. [I'm killing myself here.])

Okay, aside from the de rigeur jokes about boners, there's something about this form of art that appeals to me. Is it my interest in ethnic and primitive art and craft? Or does it appeal to the part of me that would also get subversive pleasure out of presenting the Venus of Willendorf to a class of high school students and slapping every one who laughs with a detention: "Discuss, with examples from the text, how this ancient discovery symbolises the sacred nature of fertility and its social importance to the Venusians."

Now that we've caused Michelangelo to roll over in his grave and made "cute walrus" a dirty word (or two), we might as well get to the studio portion of the lesson. Don't forget to ask Rudy how his jack-o-lantern turned out. For further commentary, he can be reached at: black.velvet.elvis@youphilistine.com