happy valentine's day

Enough art lessons; today it's lessons in lurve. I feel honoured to be in a position to help you make this the best Valentine's Day ever, so take out your notebook and stubby pencil (you know, the ones in your breast pocket, ever-so-carefully shielded behind your Spiderman pocket protector) and listen up.

You need to start by presenting your sweetheart with a sentimental gift that shows the depth of your devotion. But the object of your affection deserves more than just chocolate; any plugged-in woo-meister of the 21st century knows all about the importance of bling. This is the buttering up phase, so to speak. But no indulging just yet. There are more hearts and flowers to come.

This is the 'impress him/her with your fabulous wealth' part of the strategy. Believe me, it's better panty (or edible boxer short) remover than champagne and oysters (or so they say). Time to invite your love muffin into your personal home theatre. Blowing the thing up will get your honey in such a lather, especially after all the build-up ... but you're not ready yet! To get the mood just right you must now apply carefully-chosen sad but uplifting movie (Valentine cupcakes built right into the plot). Okay, Romeo/Juliet, you're ready to move in for the kill now. Enjoy! But if he/she suddenly has a splitting migraine (I know ~ it's happened to me, too, unbelievably enough) then there's always plan B. Happy Valentine's Day ... and good luck!